Fond Memories of Mom

For me, remembering my mom with fond memories has been a struggle. People will often say, focus on the good times, but when you lose a parent, you often will focus on the regrets, what ifs, last memories in the hospital and the struggles you faced. Everyone can tell you to focus on your childhood, or how you were best friends, or the laughs you constantly had...but it's not always that easy. When I was visiting in NJ over my break celebrating Christmas, I was blessed with some very positive memories of my mom.

The summer before I left for college, my Mom and Aunt Lynn organized a surprise "Going Away to College Shower" and I completely forgot that my Uncle Bill video taped this. So this year, while celebrating Christmas, we all watched this video together in memory of my mom. I was a bit apprehensive...because you never know what you are getting into with videos ...and this would be the first time that I was seeing my mom in a home video after she died. I didn't know if I would laugh or cry ...or how I would react at all - but I am SO glad that we all watched this together. 

Watching this video  of me entering a living room full of my family and TONS of presents for me to fill with my residence hall was just an awesome feeling. This was a true display of how generous and thoughtful my mom was with everything that she did. We laughed the entire time about the crazy comments that were being said and I think we were all in awe about how beautiful my mom looked. It was so refreshing to see her smiling, carefree...and really just having the time of her life. I am very thankful that I was able to see this video ...and wish that we could film all of the happiest times in life so we could watch them whenever we need to smile. 

So, my wish is for everyone who is struggling with watching home videos of a loved one...to do this in your own time...and with loved ones around - or by yourself..whatever works. For me it was refreshing and helped for my Dad and I to focus on the positive!